the Asia in me

one interesting thing i've noticed in my interviews is how different my worldview is from the average interviewee. i know this because some of the questions that i ask or the things that i say are met with confused expressions or additional questions from the interviewer.

one of the main differences i think is there is that i don't approach things from an "i'm in this all for myself" perspective. the American culture is very individualistic, and especially in law you have people with big egos who are in it for the big money and are willing to fight to get what they want. i come in with a very different perspective, one that's attributable both to my cultural development and my faith.

i have mentioned many times that when i was a teenager i lived in Asia. living there during such a formational time did many things for me. one of those things was that in the development of my values and worldview, i took on good and bad things from both the American and Asian perspectives. i was in a really unique position to be able to question and evaluate values and ideas from a more objective perspective, because i could actually see what culture is. so many people who have never left their own culture have never seen just how much your culture is tied to your belief system. but i was in a position to see that, and therefore to evaluate culture and my cultural values from a really different perspective, which led me to adopt and reject values from both cultures.

so i adopted some Asian values. one of these values is the appreciation for the whole - the whole society, the whole family, the whole organism to which i belong. rather than being completely individualistic - being concerned about my life, or my family, or even my country. in some ways, i have adopted the Asian way of sacrificing self for the benefit of the whole. so i come into a firm willing to adjust my study schedule so that i will take courses that i will need in order to do the best for them. i come into the firm, willing to do something that's not my first choice in subject matter or skill level because it's what the firm needs. i am more than willing to sacrifice my own desires and even my needs for the good of the whole.

then, you add to that my faith, which has also taught me to see myself as a small part of a much bigger picture. i see my life as one small part of God's kingdom, and the things that i do as a small part of what God is trying to accomplish in the world. what i do, i do for him, and for his kingdom. what i do, i do with excellence, because i believe that God would want me to give my all to that which i set my hand to. as a result, i don't care about success in the typical way. i don't care if no one in the world never even knows my name. success to me is based on giving what i can for the sake of Christ and his work, whatever that looks like.

i am very happy with this perspective on life. it means that i don't have to grasp for the future, i don't have to grasp for position or power. i would not want to live a different way. but i see that this is different from others, and is probably perceived as weakness or passivity in a system that's set up so that everyone is your adversary. i'm not an adversarial person - not at all. and i will rarely fight a battle on my own behalf. but i am strong, internally, and i will fight to the death for someone i love, or for justice.

so i am curious to see what will happen with these firms. will anyone have seen past the culture and the values and have seen what i am made of?

i don't know. but it will certainly be interesting to see.

(ok, so when i said yesterday i hate talking about myself, that's not exactly true... i don't like talking about my accomplishments. i don't like drawing attention to me. but i do enjoy analyzing and learning about who i really am, and how my time in Asia affected who i became. sometimes i'm surprised at how Asian i really am on the inside. and i enjoy having those kinds of conversations with others, because i really do like to be known.)