Saturday, July 21, 2007

one road ends

So 2 ½ years ago I started law school. It was a step of faith, and a huge one at that. Naturally I’m not much of a risk-taker, but I have taken very large risks at pivotal points in my life, where I’ve felt that was the right thing to do, where I’ve believed it is what God was leading me to do. And so on the recommendation of a friend, I took the LSAT, got a scholarship, quit my job, and came to law school. I really had nothing to go on but the hope that it was something that would be challenging enough that it could keep me interested for a number of years & something that I could actually practically use to change the world. I had no idea that I would finally grow into my personality in law school, or that I would learn to put words around the things that I have always known deep within my soul, or that in working my way through, I would create an organization that has the potential to allow me to be all of who I am at one time. I really believed that I would be a conflicted dichotomy for all time.

And so here I am, at the end of a road that I never saw myself getting on, looking toward a road with boundaries and destinations I can’t even begin to perceive. What a crazy journey this life is. There is such potential to do great things, to make great changes, to be of influence. And oh, how I long for my life to count for something—to be used by God, to bring justice to the oppressed, to bring healing to the hurting. So here’s hoping & trusting that that’s where this path is leading…

Friday, July 13, 2007

a little kindness

so a while back one of the girls that i used to teach in sunday school had a sibling die. so i showed up at the visitation. i told her to call me sometime & we could get together.

about 6 months later, she did call. and i just got off the phone with her again. i was amazed that she contacted me. and this time she talked to me for an hour.

i know that i probably shouldn't be surprised that a little kindness bears fruit sometimes, but i kind of am. this girl feels connected to me. and i think that she'll keep in touch. it kind of makes me happy.

in other news, i heard from the character & fitness examiners--they're recommending me for bar admission... so now i just have to pass that test!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

out of the woodwork

they tell you in law school that as soon as you get your degree, people come out of the woodwork looking for legal help. i think they were right.

tonight i got my first call from a long-lost relative, looking for legal advice. mind you--i still haven't taken the bar exam yet, and i won't have my bar card until at least November... but i do know a little bit more about the law than the average person, i guess--at least that's what they think.

so welcome to the wide, wide, legal world. good times.

Friday, July 06, 2007

closing day

i bought a house today.

it's a big old farmhouse-type structure in the middle of the city. it's a long, long house. it's so spread out that you could have a lot of people living here and you would never feel it. it has an attic that smells like my grandma's house (actually, i think it smells like every one's grandma's house...)

it's been wonderfully remodeled so that i really didn't have to do anything to it to move in. eventually i would like to undo a lot that's been done so that it's closer to the original, but i'm not sure that's actually going to happen. i have so many other priorities. but at least i have the option, if i want it.

i'm so glad i moved in here 2 months ago. i would not have made it if i'd had to move this week. there's just too much else going on.

it was kind of fun for me to read the note and the mortgage (now you KNOW i'm soon to be a lawyer). it sort of brought alive the whole process. i am, of course, now concerned that it gets recorded properly...

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

concrete dreams and my reality

yesterday i ran across an email i wrote last November. it was the email where i told my friends and family that i had decided to take a job in my city, instead of moving away. i was full of hope for the future, but had little vision of what it was going to look like.

it's amazing how fast things have clarified for me. i now have the articles of incorporation written for a non-profit organization. i am teaching classes at my law school, which dovetails nicely with what i ultimately want to do. and i bought a house, to be the venue out of which this purpose will be accomplished. (or i will have, on Friday).

i have settled into a vision and purpose that is somewhat concrete and defined. true, in reality it is totally up in the air and will only gain definition as time passes. but in my mind things have solidified. i know who i am and what i am supposed to do. it's amazing.

i never really thought that would happen for me. i had begun to believe that my kind of uncertainty was a fact of life, that my personality inherently conflicted with my values, and that the conflict could never be resolved. so i am happy to have found something to do that fits both my abilities and my values. i can hardly wait until the bar exam has passed and i have freedom to plan and dream about what will be.