losing my mind

it seems i'm losing my mind.

it's connected to having too many details in my mind, i think. i'm used to carrying a lot on my plate, but most of it has been much broader and more predictable. like i'd be taking 5 classes at a time, but they all had similar work, so i was able to keep all my tasks organized in my mind. but now i have tasks & thoughts flying in a hundred different directions, so i'm not really doing any of it well.

case in point. today i had to teach. on my way to school i decided to go to kinko's to shrink down my diploma. i need a copy of it to include with my loan application for the house i'm buying... b/c they're loaning me money based on a job i haven't started yet. so yeah. i went to kinko's & it took about a half an hour to get all the machines working properly to shrink down my ridiculously-sized diploma to a reasonable size to put in the application packet.

as i was leaving kinko's i realized i'd left the other half of the stuff i needed to copy at home. so i'll be making another trip at the end of the week.

so then i go to school to get prepped for class. only then did i realize that i didn't have my powerpoint presentation with me. it was saved on my laptop at home. so i spent about a half hour re-doing the powerpoint. it's now about 30 minutes before class, and i realize that i don't have the book i need for class. they only have it on reserve on the library, so i have to get what i need out of it in the library before going to class. yes... what fun. i brought only the things that i didn't actually need for class and left everything i needed at home.

but i did actually survive the day and the class. and someday i'll have all these tasks completed. i kinda wish i didn't have anything to think about other than studying, b/c i feel like i'd be able to give more attention to it. but that might backfire, b/c i'd be so bored with the stuff that i would be going out of my mind. there are only 62 days or so until the bar exam. i have much to do before then.

and yes, i do have a planner that i use. it seems i just have to be more explicit like "bring this book and don't forget powerpoint..." so i'm working on that.

thankful

i'm sitting in the living room of my new house. my graduation cap & gown are hanging in a closet, just waiting for me to try them on. there are boxes strewn around various places in the many rooms of the house. the books sit on bookshelves, but they have yet to be organized. and i'm sitting here, ready to fall asleep, writing & watching an old movie.

i have so much to be thankful for. my parents made it home for my graduation, the classes i'm teaching are going well, and i am now living in a beautiful house that has so much potential to be used for many different things. tomorrow i'll graduate from law school, and i never have to go back to school if i don't want to (i'll probably want to). and tomorrow i get to celebrate with my whole family the work i've done over the past few years. so i'm just taking a moment to be thankful to God for what i have and where i am, right this moment.

and so it goes

it seems like i should have way more time to write now, since i'm done with school. but it hasn't worked out that way. i've been doing a bar review course from passyourbar.com. i picked the cheaper one that you can just do at home through audio, and i'm kind of going nuts. it's just a lot of hours a day to be sitting in front of a computer taking notes, playing games while trying to pay attention to what he's saying, and taking practice tests. by the time i'm done with studying for the day, i don't want to be anywhere near a computer.

funny the things that stick out when you listen to the same person over & over again. today i was mildly irritated that the speaker kept pronouncing the word "lien" like "lee-in". in my world it's a one syllable word. so yeah. it's been a long week listening to cds...

i've started packing to move. i hate stuff. i really do. if i could throw it all away & do without it, i would. i like books, and don't mind packing them. but those little things that just sit around, that you use maybe once every 5 years... that's the stuff i hate. but it's such a waste to throw it away & then buy it again. so i just pack it away in boxes. what fun. it'll be nice when i've moved everything & can unpack. i love to unpack things & put them away. somehow it's more creative & satisfying to me than packing.

and so it goes.