and so it goes

it seems like i should have way more time to write now, since i'm done with school. but it hasn't worked out that way. i've been doing a bar review course from passyourbar.com. i picked the cheaper one that you can just do at home through audio, and i'm kind of going nuts. it's just a lot of hours a day to be sitting in front of a computer taking notes, playing games while trying to pay attention to what he's saying, and taking practice tests. by the time i'm done with studying for the day, i don't want to be anywhere near a computer.

funny the things that stick out when you listen to the same person over & over again. today i was mildly irritated that the speaker kept pronouncing the word "lien" like "lee-in". in my world it's a one syllable word. so yeah. it's been a long week listening to cds...

i've started packing to move. i hate stuff. i really do. if i could throw it all away & do without it, i would. i like books, and don't mind packing them. but those little things that just sit around, that you use maybe once every 5 years... that's the stuff i hate. but it's such a waste to throw it away & then buy it again. so i just pack it away in boxes. what fun. it'll be nice when i've moved everything & can unpack. i love to unpack things & put them away. somehow it's more creative & satisfying to me than packing.

and so it goes.

the close of one chapter

well, law school is over. it's hard to believe that it really is done. it went really fast. yet it feels like such a great accomplishment. i think it's because of how much work i put in. even though college was 4 years, i just didn't have to work as hard to succeed there.

i'm working hard to savor the accomplishment. if i don't, i'm going to just start studying for the bar hard-core, but i'm not going to have the energy to make it through the end. i'm so fatigued. i pushed myself really hard for the last couple of years. this semester was tough, because i didn't have the energy left to push myself anymore. so now i'm taking a break (for like 3 days) so that i'll be at least a little refreshed when i set up my study schedule. we'll see how that works.

so yeah. only one more big thing before i can get back to just living life like a normal person. ok, so that probably won't actually happen... but at least i'll have more freedom to build relationships & spend time with people.

just for fun

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house hunting... again

i found a house today that i want to buy. it's a beautiful old house with the original trim & nice wood floors under carpet that was never nailed down. you come into the house & look through the large living room, through the beautiful dining room, through an arch in the wall (with 2 little arch window-like things) into a sun room. the sun room has built-in book shelves. the back yard runs up against a nature preserve that will never be built on. big bedrooms and an unfinished attic complete its charm. as a bonus, the roof is new & there's a high-efficiency furnace and a new water heater. not sure about the insulation factor or the windows, but i'm going back tomorrow to look at it again before i decide whether to make an offer.

so... after 35-40 houses, i finally found one that i really like. we'll see if i still like it tomorrow & what my friends have to say about it. it's been an adventure though. today i saw some super-cool old houses. they had some awesome woodwork and tons of potential. but they were all located in areas that wouldn't resell for as much as i'd be putting into the house to make it better. they were true money pits. but totally awesome old houses.

some houses have absolutely no charm. i went in one where they finished a basement with the ceilings about 5'9"... so short i felt like i had to duck to be down there. i saw one house that was decorated as if it were on a tropical island & whose bedrooms were all linoleumed (not carpet, not wood). but it's been fun. a nice change of pace from the pressure of studying & producing things all the time.

house hunting

so i decided to buy a house this year. we have quite the buyer's market going on right now, so i'll have a lot of places to choose from. i have a list of 17 properties that i'm going to see with a realtor this friday. it's a little overwhelming, and i hope that i'll be able to keep them all separate in my mind.

but it's kind of fun too. i don't think i've ever really chosen where i was going to live in quite the same way. i always just do the functional thing, or the convenient thing, and then i adapt. i can adapt to anything. so to think of actually choosing a place because i love it or love things about it is kind of new for me.

so right now i'm looking for a place with wood floors & unpainted wood trim, a big open living room area, and 4 bedrooms. i'd love to have an attic that is already finished, or that i could finish.

we'll see if i can find what i'm looking for within my price range. actually, there are tons of possibilities already, i think.

so i'm sitting here looking at properties instead of cleaning my house... so much more fun...

4 more saturdays

i'm a mere 4 saturdays away from the end of law school. one month, and it's history. it's so hard to believe that it is already time to be done. truly it's flown by in such a blur. it was only a little over 2 years ago that i started law school. and now it's done.

but i am ready. i'm excited to be finishing up. i'm looking for a house to buy this summer. i'm planning on opening a non-profit. i'm planning on passing the bar exam, so i've started studying. i'll be teaching at my law school as an adjunct this summer, so i'm planning for that. and i'm looking forward to hanging out with my family and my best friend, who will be visiting this summer. and i've decided to take a week to go camping at the end of the summer, before i start my new job, so i can recover from all this excitement...

the sheer volume of responsibilities and changes are keeping me quite busy, which is why i haven't been writing much. but things are going well, i am doing more than well, and life is good.

paid to think?

one thing i noticed this week is how much time i actually have to think before i start writing. i can literally sit for 4-5 hours just thinking through all the implications of various arguments, counterarguments, and issues. then i have to re-read cases, do more research, and then think some more. i need a huge whiteboard, and plenty of time to scribble all over it.

i don't think i ever realized how much thinking time is required. and i always feel a little bit weird, just sitting there, thinking. i wonder if the people walking by think i'm slacking off. i think i'll feel especially bad about thinking when people are paying me too--because i'm not producing anything. but then i tell myself that people are going to be paying me to think.

so i feel like i've chosen the right profession. because i enjoy the process. i have fun thinking through the problems. good times...

atheism

on facebook i found one of the girls i used to teach in sunday school. each person on facebook has the opportunity to say a little bit about themselves. so on her "about me" she defines herself as anti-God. her whole identity is wrapped up in the fact that she doesn't believe in God. she grew up in the church, was disillusioned, i think by her family and by the church, and so now her entire identity hinges on how she does not believe God is real.

then i was flipping through channels this week, and saw a cable program called "athiests speak" or something like that. basically it was a bunch of athiests sitting around talking about how God does not exist. what was really interesting to me though, is what they said. the only things they were talking about were the hypocrisy of the church, and the way it doesn't make sense when Christians talk about how God intervened in their lives in a miraculous way, while right next door someone is suffering and devastated.

they didn't claim that it is scientifically impossible that God exists. they didn't bring up philosophy, or argue that God is not necessary. the only thing they focused on was how the people who call themselves Christ followers have impacted their perception of God.

so i don't know. i am just reminded at the importance of my own actions. i am reminded that i really am Christ's ambassador. if i call myself a follower of Christ, then i need to live like he did. and i need to be very careful of what i say, and what i claim about God. my misunderstanding of God's character or Christ's teaching can become the false reality that someone reacts to.