stranded

so i was in the airport last night, trying to get on my flight. i got up to the security checkpoint and discovered that the power was out throughout the entire airport. i wasn't going anywhere soon. as the minutes crept by, the people around me were getting more and more anxious. and then suddenly, everyone was on their cell phones. they were calling friends and family to reschedule plans. they were calling assistants to try to get information on whether planes were taking off without us. they were calling the airlines to try to reschedule flights.

and i just stood there. i don't have a cell phone. there was no one for me to call anyway. there was nothing i could do.

and so i observed. it was so interesting. first, we have very busy lives. i had scheduled a full day--thursday night i had class, so i couldn't leave on thursday. so friday morning i got on a plane, made one connection, and then arrived at my destination a little before noon. i had an interview at 2pm, and then i was to get back on the plane on friday around 5. i should have returned by 8. i had a test this morning an hour away from my house that i had to get back for.

why in the world do i believe that i can arrange my life like that? i can fly 800 miles round trip in one day, and sandwich in an interview between a night class and a morning test. why do i arrange my life like that? because i can. but should i? really?

what about time for people, relationships, family, church? is our life, technically advanced as it is, really better than the days that people lived in one place, traveled less, and actually had time to live life? i don't know what to conclude about that. i just know that when i fill up my life with things--just because i can--i end up feeling like i'm not really living.

second, it was really interesting to me that people wouldn't just stand there in line, waiting. we americans can't stand to wait. this situation was vastly beyond our control. the electricity was either going to come on, or it wasn't. the planes were leaving, or they were waiting for us. there was absolutely nothing that any of us could do. but i was amazed at how people did what they could to fix the situations that they were in. for the most part, all their efforts were in vain. but at least people felt like they were doing something about the situation. no one could stand to just wait.

and i wondered how that translates to our spiritual lives. the lack of an ability to wait seems to be a cultural phenomenon. we want things done right, and we want those things to happen right now. but i don't think that in the spritual realm things always happen that way. there are times when waiting is necessary, when God asks us to simply wait on him and trust. and there's something within us that doesn't want to do that. we want to fix it--to make things happen--to get ourselves out of the situation.

i think we have to work on that. i know that i have to work on it. i like for things to be settled and sure. if they're not that way, i'm not terribly patient while i work to make them that way. but there are times when i have to just wait. i'm kind of in one of them now, as i explore and try to hear God's direction for my future.

the good news is that the power came on again after about an hour & a half. a wonderful ticket agent got me on a flight with a different airline and i made it home just a couple hours late. i actually made it to my test this morning and was awake enough to take it.