decisions

this process of deciding what to do with my law degree is a very interesting process.

since i started interviewing this fall i've been thinking a lot about what i actually want to do when i'm done. i've been taking inventories of my passions/gifts/desires. i've been praying a lot about how God might want to use the skill that i've learned. and i've attended the interviews.

and honestly, i think i'd be happiest working for myself, or working part time, and having the rest of my time & energy left over to do other things. i still want to be a part of ministry in the church--more specifically of assisting the church in its relationship with other cultures--including the greater secular culture or just cross-cultures within the church and community.

i didn't go to law school to get a career. i went because i wanted to find a way to support myself, to do something practical and concrete for the cause of justice, and to give myself the freedom and ability to give my time away.

it would be so easy to follow a particular path to a career. it's what everyone thinks is supposed to happen--you get a job, make lots of money, etc. it would be so easy to get sucked in to that. but that's not what i want. that's not why i came. i don't want prestige, and i don't even want power. if God puts me in a position of power, then i'll try to use it for justice, but if i never have it i won't be sad.

i want to write. i want to write about legal policies that need to be changed. but more than that i want to write for the church about culture and beliefs. i want to give my time to people--to the church, and also in the trenches so that i know what laws need to be changed and what would actually be helpful.

so i don't know. this all makes me think i should take the job in my city even if i get an offer to do policy/advocacy research. because long-term, i don't want to be committed to just one cause. i want to have the freedom to do a lot of different things. and staying here, paying off my bills, and getting contacts within the legal world here. i just think i'd have lots of options if i do that.

so i don't know, though. i don't want to choose the wrong thing or miss out on a career if that's what i'm supposed to do. i don't want to foreclose that option prematurely. i'll keep you posted on where i end up. it's a lot to think about.