moments of clarity

today i remembered why i love to write. it's true... i absolutely love the writing process, everything about it. it may not be evident here on my blog, since i'm incredibly lazy about editing here. but i truly love it.

i've been working on briefs all semester--i have 3 different briefs due in 3 classes. for the non-lawyers out there, briefs are what you file with courts to tell them why they should decide something in your favor. so ordinarily i have loved writing briefs. it's basically all i did this summer, and i had a great time doing it. but since the beginning of this semester and i have struggled to force myself to write anything at all. the first draft of my first brief was truly horrible. it was like pulling teeth to sit down and write, and i only did it because i had to. this brief started out that way too... until today.

i wrestled with the material all day, after having a horrible writing day yesterday, not really feeling extremely motivated to write. i had written maybe a page after about 4 hours. and then it all suddenly started to flow. i wrote the next 3 pages within an hour, and as i finished it up, i just knew that it was the key to my whole brief. everything just came together in that hour.

and as i sat there typing the last sentence i remembered why i love to write. i love that one moment of clarity when everything that has been a complete mess suddenly becomes obvious--so obvious that it's hard to believe that i didn't see it before. i love it when the argument becomes solid and i can see counter-arguments and alternative arguments to my claims. i love the art of finding the words that paint the picture of the concepts flying around my brain.

i will admit that it's kind of odd. it's odd that i would claim to love something that is mostly work--indeed, the 40 hours i put into research & writing up to that moment of clarity, and the 25-30 i have left hardly seem worth the joy of the moment when it all comes together. and yet, it is worth it. maybe i just like the challenge--it's like solving a puzzle. and every case is a new puzzle to solve, so my mind must endlessly be working. i guess i just hate being bored.

so i'm sighing with relief because it seems that my brief experience with senioritis is finally past & i can get back to being efficient about my school work so i can go out & enjoy the rest of life as it comes to me.