brussels sprouts, but not homework

i'm supposed to be doing homework right now. i didn't get enough done today, and there is so much to do. i think in a couple of weeks things will calm down a little, but right now all my classes are kind of pressing in on me. so i'm sitting here writing instead.

i came home from kickboxing and i was trying to get my computer mouse to work. but it's not. so i worked on that for like 30 minutes. i thought about cooking something for dinner (or the 2nd half of dinner, b/c i had a small sandwich before kickboxing). so i put some brussels sprouts on the stove. but the first water i put on i forgot about & just left boiling there til it was almost all evaporated. so the sprouts are still on the stove.

and why on earth am i writing about these things anyway? i have nothing i really wanted to say. i just wanted to tell someone that i'm procrastinating, i guess.

i just got the brilliant idea to work on a different class than the one i worked on all day. switching it up might be more interesting. so i'm going to try to do that. wish me luck.

moments of clarity

so after i left Urbana, i was really thinking that i need to try to actively reach out to students next year. and i still really think that. but it's not next year yet.

through a couple of different conversations, my eyes are finally open to all the people who are around me right now, in my life at school. prior to now, i didn't really know anyone at my school well, except for the few i car-pooled with. but a real sense of community is forming now that we've got the campuses all straightened out, and i'm actually seeing some people in more than one class. so i'm really excited about it. i'm actually in a position to have more than one spiritual friendship, and that jazzes me like nothing else.

so in the midst of all my crazy research & studying (and there is a ton of that this semester), i'm going to be praying that God will bless my new friends and help me to see where he is already working in their lives.

and there are only 12 weeks to go until law school ends for me... woohoo!

a big question

many people are talking about the processness of evangelism. they speak of the need to have intentional, spiritual friendships, where we become a part of the process, and sometimes guide the seeker toward encountering God. (see, e.g. Rick Richardson, Reimagining Evangelism (2006); Fred Peatross, Evangelism is Another Animal--Not the One We Thought, no. 97 Next-Wave Ezine (Jan. 2007), available at this site.

but here is a question that we are not yet asking--how do we (the church) equip a post-modern person to be such a friend and sometimes guide? those of us who are older, who grew up in the modern sunday school classes--we got a big-picture view of the story. we got the details of all the little stories. we have often had bible college or seminary training. we can do the work of translating these fundamental truths to make sense to younger, more post-modern thinkers.

donald miller is a prime example. he has a spectacular, innate ability to tell the story in a relevant, poetic, story-like way. rob bell is another example of a great communicator of these truths.

but as i sat in a group of college students who were listening to donald miller speak, i looked around the room. the students were in awe--here was the gospel story, again relevant to their lives. but these same students had no clue how to speak the same poetry into the lives of their peers.

donald miller, rob bell, and probably many more of the emerging voices have recieved much training--modern training, even. i would venture to guess that they are avid readers, and always avid thinkers.

but.

in a world of podcasts and instant messages, how is the next generation going to be equipped to put words around the truths that they've experienced?

i think the answer must come in the form of relationship, community. but what will that look like? and is anyone out there talking about this? more importantly, is anyone living it?

the good news is that the bible comes in story form, and the poetry that hits home today seems closer to the bible's culture than our old modern culture. so there must be a way. i pray that the Spirit will help us to find it.

and i intend to spend the next few years praying about it and living it and seeking his answer.

third-culture kids

i read a book about "third-culture kids" over the time i was at Urbana. a "third-culture" kid is one who spent a substantial amount of her developmental years living outside the home culture of her parents. the third culture is the culture that is created from the high mobility and the cultural adaptation that exists for these families.

it was a really good book for me. it kind of named a lot of the issues or personality traits that i have seen in myself. it talks about the strengths and weaknesses that develop in the kids who grow up under these circumstances. it gave me additional language to describe my experience to others, which is always a good thing.

one thing that i discovered though is that i have a lot of unresolved grief--grief that i actually didn't experience. the book talked about "hidden losses," which are the losses that you don't even realize, so you can't grieve them. things like the sights, the smells, the different living experiences. then of course, there are the obvious losses of people & relationships that happens anytime you move away--especially where there was not the communication & technology advances that we have now (skype, IM, etc).

and i really don't think i grieved that much about the losses i felt at all. i think part of it was because i thought the work my parents were doing was so important that i didn't give myself permission to grieve. i guess that's pretty common among MK's especially.

so this actually explains why i feel things so deeply--sometimes i react with greater grief in a given situation than that situation actually calls for, because i'm making up for grief i didn't feel before. and i can't do things like watch movies about the Holocaust or visit a garbage dump community in Mexico because i know i can't handle feeling the pain of other peoples' situations. and when i lose a relationship now, at least for a time i feel all the losses that i ever had all over again.

so i'm not really sure where to go from here. there were some good suggestions in the book about just naming all the things/people that you lost so that you're aware of them. so that seems like a good place to start. but if nothing else, it's nice to understand what's going on.

social consciousness

another thing that i was thinking about this week at Urbana is the whole idea of living as though i am aware of the oppression in this world.

our country is so materialistic and consumeristic, that we believe that we are owed material comfort. and it is so easily available to us--all we have to do is go to the store and buy whatever we need. there is almost nothing that is unavailable because of cost or scarcity.

and this availability to us is built on the exploitation of people and resources in other nations.

this is a difficult thing. because in some places, sweatshops, though they require a lot of hours, pay much better and provide much better working environments than people could get elsewhere in that country. so i have always strongly believed that the answer to this kind of oppression is not to simply get rid of these places altogether. boycotting the products made there also does not appear to be the best solution. but i'm not sure what else to do--how do i live like it matters to me that these people are working where they're working in conditions that would never be acceptable to me? i don't know. but as i become more knowledgeable about the culture in which i live, i believe that i must think about this issue and live in response to it--somehow. it is that kind of principled living that is going to lend authenticity to the message of the gospel.

and what about money? at Urbana college students gave around $1.25 million to the cause of missions. unbelievable. we have so much expendable cash that put together, really can make a huge difference in the lives of people around the world. i am convinced that simple living is another essential value. and i know that i live more simply than most people here, but i still have too much. i spend my money too easily on my own comfort and entertainment when there is much that could be done with it elsewhere. but where is the line that allows me to use my money to keep myself sane (by doing artistic things, relaxing, etc)? it is true that if i want to be able to give to others i have to protect my own mental health by giving myself these kinds of outlets. but what about all the people who live in horrible conditions and do not have those options? i don't know.

i just come away knowing that i have to think about it. i have to take the time to make principled decisions instead of just accepting the fact that this is the way things are. i don't have to buy a new house, a new car, or new clothes. i can make choices. i guess i just want them to be informed and intelligent. i don't want to settle for what is easy and comes naturally, because a lot of times that's not really the best thing.

the Christian mind

about a year ago my friend Cathy & I went to hear Donald Miller speak (author of Blue Like Jazz...). he was speaking to a group of college students. i was blown away by his ability to share the story of the gospel like a poet would--and his audience was captivated. i turned to Cathy & remarked on this, and we wondered together how the college students were themselves going to be able to learn that skill.

there is a generation of us that grew up with much modern teaching--orthodox beliefs, apologetics. we were a literate generation--less literate than our parents, perhaps, but we still grew up in the era of network television and without mtv. we grew up without the internet, without many electronics. our imaginations were stimulated by mere words, and our past time was often reading or imaginative games that we created ourselves--because those were the only options we had.

but the generation that comes after us--the mtv, IM, podcast generations, these are the generations of the illiterate. yes, they can read, but most do not read to learn, to explore, to expand their minds. they read only when they have to, and are very disengaged at that. if you doubt it, ask any educator who's been working over the last 10 years. even at my law school, the professors have seen a dramatic drop in reading and comprehension abilities. and we haven't even touched on the lack of an attention span!

so Cathy and I asked ourselves who is going to come up with a way to teach this generation what they need to know to really share the gospel--really interact with their peers, based on the foundation of orthodox faith and doctrine, yet able to communicate on the post-modern level, able to tell the story of God.

today i went to a session about apologetics for the post-modern person by James Emery White. amazing scholar. his solution to post-modern apologetics is what he calls a "Christian mind." a mind that is literate in culture and ideas, a mind submitted to God and educated in the origins of western thought. he claims, along with others before him, that the battle for culture and souls is fought in the marketplace of ideas.

and i just sat there thinking that surely all is lost then. if literacy is all we have as an option, then we have already lost this generation to a spirituality that does not have anything to do with God. because this generation will not read. sure, there may be some who choose to educate themselves and enter the upper eschelons of educated society, and influence culture on a meta-scale. but by and large, this generation will go to their graves without knowledge of the living God because their peers will not do the work of developing a "Christian mind."

so what should the church do, then? is all lost because this Christian mind was not developed in our Christian families, in our churches, even in our Christian educational institutions?

i don't know. i don't have another solution to this problem yet. i want to believe that the story of Christ and his blood can be told, a person can answer the "so what?!" question to the Christian story, and this generation can come to Christ. but how?

what other options do we have?

social justice

today's students seem to be incredibly socially aware--educating themselves about AIDS, poverty, global warming, & other environmental concerns. and probably as with just about anything else, more students are talking about it than are actually doing anything.

still, i think it's safe to say that students are aware of these issues. maybe it's true that the entire generation has this awareness, and not just the students. at any rate, i think that it's safe to say that the church/followers of Christ will not be respected if they do not care about these issues. put another way, a group of Christ-followers that is involved in doing something about social issues will gain immediate respect and will have a voice in today's culture.

social justice will never replace sharing the message of the gospel. but social justice lends authenticity to this message. it brings the love & live of God to that incarnational level--meeting people where they are at. it puts skin on the values and character traits that God possesses. it becomes the platform or the common ground from which we are able to speak.

but let us be wise as we begin to enter in. let us choose to seek the underlying problems, & not just the symptoms. let us educate ourselves, and use the innovation that is unique to our culture. but let us also not forget to act within relationships. let us not forget to enter cultures and problems first as observers and learners. and let us always seek to be led by the Spirit in all things.

inductive study

one really interesting connection between law and faith is inductive study. when i started law school i couldn't believe how my practice in hermeneutics & inductive study helped me to learn to read cases. and now that i've been inductively reading cases for a couple of years, i have learned a lot about how to inductively study the Bible.

this morning we sat in a room of almost 200 students and did inductive Bible study together. we did it in a big group and in small groups. we were encouraged to observe, then ask questions, then try to answer them, and always to apply what we'd read & learned. the teacher didn't give a lecture, but led us through the process of reading and studying the scripture to learn what it says for ourselves. it was great. and people were engaged. and he didn't just let anyone give an opinion that was wrong, and let that fly... we weren't making the passage say just anything. when a student said something that was clearly deductive--a reading of his own opinion into the text--that student was corrected. so i think that the dangers that are often seen in small group studies as opposed to lecture can be worked around.

i think it's easier to go from inductive study to application than from lecture to application. if it's true that the point of gaining knowledge about God is to apply what we know, then that's important. when people inductively study and are involved in the process, then they are already active. it's way easier to go from that to asking "how does this apply to my life?" and then to actually apply it. at least it's easier for me.

i've got to be honest, i spend so much of my life listening to lecture, that i disengage when i'm there. i don't listen to sermons. part of it is just that i am inundated with noise and information from all sides all the time. it is not an effective way for me to learn or to be challenged to grow. but i love to study, i love to use my mind to draw conclusions, i love to make the jump from knowledge from application.

i suppose that someone might say that that's just me--that i'm built mentally to do that kind of work, but that not everyone is. and that may be true. but how many of our churches are made up of educated people, people who are more than capable of understanding the process of inductive study? and how many of us, with just a little help, could learn to use the vast resources that are available to us?

wouldn't it be better then, to teach that way in our churches? to equip people to actually learn and grow on their own and in smaller communities where there is accountability & space and time to learn and grow?

i don't know. but as i re-imagine church for our emergent service, and as i think ahead toward being involved in church development and discipleship, i want to remember that this is an option. i want to remember that because of the education level of the church in the US, because of the access to information, we can do community learning in ways other than one person getting up to speak every Sunday. in fact, it just might be more effective for the younger generations.